Divine Write Copywriting Forum

I really dislike using 'within', even in formal copy. I mean, who speaks that way anymore besides the odd word geek? I'd have to be threatened to use it. Well, not really, but I don't use it unless I can't figure out a way around it.

In the first example, I'd rather use 'expiration' rather than 'warranty period' cause it just reads awkward to me...But you're right. 'In' just wouldn't sound right...IDK

The second: "Big, flashy offices don’t come free. Nor do the trendy juniors and glamorous admin staff within." Again, I have to agree, but wouldn't 'inside' work better than 'within'? Maybe it's just all the Tim Tams I've been consuming...

Third example: I just find the sentence odd sounding... sort of a cross between Shakespearean prose and the phone book. But I don't think using 'in' in that instance would sound any worse.

As for the fourth, 'inside' would be a better choice no?

Hey Ang! Shakespeare and phone book, hey?! Well at least they're both popular!

On the note of "warranty period" versus "expiration", that may be a localisation issue. Here in Australia, they mean different things. Warranty period is the period after which you're on your own if the product dies. Expiration is not often used (in this context) but would typically mean "use-by date", I believe.

For the "big flashy offices..." example, I agree that I could have used "inside", but it just doesn't have the same feel to it, for me. There's more friction in the word "inside". "within" is fast and smooth (no sibilants), and that's exactly what I was aiming for there.

I agree the final example is a little odd. It didn't sound that ood in context, I promise. But odd, nonetheless!

Word geek waving hand in air..!!!!