Divine Write Copywriting Forum

Hello to all,

I have come yet again to ask for your valued opinions.
I posted a request for a website review on a webmaster site (I think SitePro or something) and received too many nuggets of advice, most negative.
Now, I know everything in any forum should be taken with a pinch of salt, but nonetheless, I must explore the views of others, in a bid to improve my site.

One thing they mentioned was that there are a lot of flaws in the grammar on my website, which is correct. I will have to reread everything. Now, that aside, I would love to know what you guys think of my website, seeing as y'all are copywriters.

What do you think of my website, honestly?
(website-copy-writer [dot] com)
Is it professional enough?

Someone else told me that my content is too focused on the value of great content, without saying enough about why people should hire ME. Do y'all agree?

I really appreciate any advice or opinions which you guys can offer me.

Thanks,
Ciara.

Hi Ciara
I took a look at your website and you asked for an honest appraisal so here it is. Without being too negative I really think you need to lift this a couple of notches if you expect to get business from it.

At the moment it doesn't look professional and the content isn't written in a manner that would inspire others to give you money to write theirs.

It's very difficult to write your own copy because it's hard to be objective and we're too close to our own businesses. That's why other people employ us to write for them. Obviously we don't have that luxury because we want to showcase our talents. I suggest you take this as a copywriting project, the way you would for any client. Make the notes on expected readership, what you're offering, what makes you different from your competition etc., etc. And then write from scratch.

I hope I haven't offended you. I just want you to be realistic about what level of professionalism you need if you're going to be successful. Take a look at Glenn's site here. It's an excellent example of what works and what doesn't. There are 1001 copywriting sites out there for you to go and look at and get a feel for what's expected.

Good luck and I take my hat off to you for having the courage to ask for constructive criticism.

All the best

Content is fine - bar the odd typo. Graphics a bit dowdy perhaps. Just that banner. Try something a bit lighter and fresher, or more colourful perhaps. Otherwise a nice site.

But has Glenn taken up web design? It looks like you had a lot of help from him with the CSS

Hi,

I think the front page looks good, clean and simple. However I question the premis of your headline and supporting text.

Do you need website copywriting because your audience demands it? I don't think most "audiences" or prospects or customers or whatever you call them even think about website copywriting. When they go to a web site they either want information, entretainment, or if it's a website designed to sell something they want to know what's in it for them.

Nor do I think most people worry about who wrote the words they are reading, or if they do, they assume it is someone from the company who owns the web site. They focus on the message, not the author.

The question for your own web site is, what is your target market and what do they want? See yourself as a customer you're doing a job for (as someone else suggested). What do you want to do - look professional? Or get them to hire you? They aren't necessarily the same.

Also, what kind of web site do you want to write for, large corporates, one-page selling sites, smaller companies - these are all dirrerent.

If I were doing such a web site I would speak directly to the person who I want to hire me - which you are doing, but I don't think you're using their language.

"Do you own or manage a web site?'

"If you do, you probably know that you have just 2.3 seconds to grab your customer's attention before they move on to another site.

"So it's vital to use headlines and copy that makes them want to keep reading more - and that isn't easy. It's a skill that can be rare to find - and yet without it all the time, money and effort you put into developinbg your web site could be wasted.

"That's why you need a professional copy writer. Someone who can get your message across clearly, who can make it compelling and who can get your audience to react the way you want them to. Because that's what every single web site is meant to do - to influence people, to get them to do something, or think something, or feel something.

"Whatever your web site says, it will make your visitors think and do something. By using a skilled copywriter you can get them to think and do want what you want them to do - rather than to think "this isn't for me' and move elsewhere."

Or words to that effect.

I would also say, purely based on my personal preference, that a more relaxed, less formal style is more effective. Most people don't write like they talk and it can come across as overly formal or stilted. A conversational style works very well - for some sites. because again, it depends what kind of site it is and what their audience is.

Hope this helps,

Steve

Thank you all for your constructive criticism, I really appreciate it.
I do find it so much easier to write for other people, as stated, because I guess I don't find it so easy to be objective about my own services and myself, obviously.

Matt, when I created my website I knew not a thing about css, so, having loved the look of Glenns site, I used it as a template. I hope that's not considered css plagiarism....if it is, I've got a hell of a lot of changing to do.

Sorry Glenn! And thanks again for your great forum.

Well, I'm really gonna have to rewrite my entire site, but yes, I will look upon it as a copywriting project.
I really really appreciate all your honest replies; I hadn't been getting any new work via my website and I knew something had to be wrong but I just didn't know what.
Now, I have some great pointers to go by, thanks again,

Ciara.

Hi ciarac,

Thanks for your post. It's a very interesting question. And an issue that every copywriter has struggled with, in some way or another.

Firstly, I have to say I agree with Munaiba; you've shown a lot of courage to ask for a critique. That's not easy to do, especially when you've put so much work in!

Secondly, although I would probably have noticed how similar your general presentation is to mine, it still looks very different overall, so I'm not concerned by that.

Thirdly, I agree with what Munaiba and stevehalloz have said. I think you need to focus more on your audience and their needs. I'd definitely make the writing more conversational (i.e. use contractions and ditch difficult phrases like "sole appreciator").

Also, I'd be a little less confrontational and simplistic. In particular, I'm talking about the following sentence. "Google snubs you, your target market passes you over and your competition just keeps getting richer and wealthier…all because you don't have excellent website content." If I was in the market for a copywriter, I'd find this a little insulting. Partly because you're making assumptions about my situation, and partly because you're simplifying the impact of web copy. I think it's very rare that poor web copy is entirely to blame for poor search engine presence, poor conversion and poor income. Generally, there are a lot of other factors involved, such as design, marketing, market forces, etc. Your audience will know this, and won't appreciate you dumbing things down. They'll either assume you don't know what you're talking about, you're doing a hard-sell, or that you think they're silly enough to be fooled into believing your argument.

I'd be inclined to be a little more subtle. Talk up the benefits of web copy, but don't attribute more to it than it deserves. Also, there's a marketing theory that suggests you focus on the positives, not the negatives. I'd probably adhere to that in your case. Sometimes it's hard not to mention negatives, especially if you're targeting a very specific audience with very specific needs. But in your case, I reckon positives are a much better way to go.

Re the appearance of your site, the first thing that strikes me is the font. Everything I've ever read about online fonts says you should use san-serif fonts (i.e. fonts without feet, such as Verdana). I'd also make it a bit smaller, and grey instead of black. Of course, in making these comments, I'm assuming you're targeting a decision-makers who want to present a professional image with their copy. Despite the readability impact of small grey text, the overall effect is considered fairly standard now, I believe. Many/most corporate websites adopt this approach, so it's now synonymous with professionalism (much to the horror of usability experts!).

Also, I'd align the top of your headline with the top of your first menu item (just a little design rule I picked up when I was married to a graphic designer).

And - on my computer, at least - the menu item "Article Copywriter" isn't wrapping properly. The word "Copywriter" starts to the left of where the word "Article" starts. In other words, it's a hanging indent. Not sure if that's just my computer, though. I'm using IE7 on a PC.

Also, I think you should try and include your usual site nav on your blog.

My final negative comment is that it's absolutely imperative that you don't make errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar. Those are the things that most visitors will consciously pick up on. I believe you have a natural flow to your writing that (if made a little more conversational) will appeal to your audience. However, they'll run away if they see glaring errors. Either that, or they'll assume you're a budget option, which is never a good thing.

Don't despair, though! There are definitely some positives. As I said above, I think you have a good flair for writing, and that's something I don't think you can learn. I think your site is clean and easy to navigate. You have your contact details and call to action on the left of every page - nice and prominent. I'm sure I could find plenty more, but unfortunately I'm outa time. Gotta get some work done!

Hope this helps. Sorry that most of my comments are negative, but at least they're constructive!

Cheers.

Glenn

Glenn,

Thank you so much for your very constructive criticism.
I was just saying to my boyfriend, who is sitting nearby, that it's so nice that someone who obviously is very successful in what they do makes time to help others out where he can, so I really appreciate that.

In the next week I'm going to work hard on my website and bring it up to a decent standard, now that I know which direction to take, thanks to all of you who have responded.
Before, I knew something wasn't right but I couldn't see it with my own eyes, as it was too close.

So, thank you once again, all your comments and kindness have really made my day.

My pleasure! We all had to start somewhere. And I don't know about everyone else here, but for me, hardly a day goes by when I don't start something new. I've benefited from the wealth of knowledge on the Internet on all sorts of subjects, from running to xbox, hi-fi to broadband technology, coffee to health. Happy to do my part when I can. I suspect the same is true of most of the people on this forum.

Best of luck with your new site!

Cheers.

I agree with Glenn. The internet allows us all to learn new things. I've picked up things that are useful to my business and to my interests. Good luck Ciara. I think Glenn is right when he says you have a flair for writing you just need to be a bit more focused and careful.

All the best